How to Last Longer in Bed: 3 Simple Techniques from a Tantric Bodyworker

One of the most common concerns I hear from men in my practice is about how to last longer in bed. Whether you're experiencing premature ejaculation or simply want to extend the pleasure for yourself and your partner, know that this is something you can absolutely learn to regulate.

The key is understanding that sexual stamina isn't just about physical control – it's about working with your nervous system, your breath, and your awareness. These three simple practices can help you stay present, extend pleasure, and cultivate more mastery over your arousal.

1. Practice Slow Exhales

Our breath is one of the most effective ways to control and hold intense sensations. When arousal builds quickly, most people unconsciously hold their breath or breathe rapidly and shallowly. This actually accelerates the build toward climax.

When you feel you're approaching your edge, slow down your exhale. Focus on calming your breath. Try a simple breathing rhythm: breathe in for 3 counts, pause briefly, then exhale for 5 counts, and pause again before the next inhale.

Why does this work? Long, slow exhales activate your parasympathetic nervous system – the part of your nervous system responsible for rest, regulation, and presence. When you're in a parasympathetic state, you're able to stay embodied and conscious rather than being swept away by sensation.

Practice this breathing pattern outside of sexual contexts first. Try it during your morning routine, while exercising, or during moments of stress. The more familiar your body becomes with this rhythm, the easier it will be to access it when you need it most.

2. Make Sounds

Making sounds during exhales helps dissipate intense sensations and prevents energy from building too quickly in your pelvis. Practice sighing, moaning, groaning – any sound that creates vibration in your throat.

Sounding is a natural way for our bodies to discharge intense energy. You've probably noticed this instinctively when exercising intensely, or when you experience sudden pain, like stubbing your toe – we make noise. The same principle applies to pleasure. Sound gives the energy somewhere to go.

Many men have learned to be silent during sex, either from habit, shame, or living situations that required discretion. But holding sound in also means holding sensation in, which can create a pressure-cooker effect that leads to quicker climax.

The sounds don't need to be loud if that feels uncomfortable or performative. Simply giving yourself permission to release through your voice, even soft sighs or low hums, can help you extend the experience and stay more present in your body.

Try this: During self-pleasure, practice making sounds on every exhale. Notice how it changes the quality and intensity of your arousal. Does it feel easier to regulate? Does pleasure spread throughout your body rather than concentrating in your genitals?

3. Change What You're Doing

There's absolutely nothing wrong with pausing and switching activities to give your body time to come down from high arousal. Pull out, slow down, or shift to something else that feels good – kissing, touching, oral pleasure, or simply breathing together.

This isn't stopping – it's conscious pacing. It's building a rhythm that includes peaks and valleys rather than a single rapid climb. This approach actually creates more sustainable pleasure and builds anticipation.

Many men worry that pausing will "ruin the moment" or disappoint their partner. In reality, most partners deeply appreciate a lover who is present, conscious, and able to extend the experience.

Great sex isn't just about penetration – it's experiencing a banquet of different sensations and dynamics, from kissing to caressing to power and devotion. When you can regulate your arousal and invite more play into the experience, sex becomes less goal-oriented and more about the journey.

Changing activities gives you the opportunity to explore this variety and creativity. It helps you and your partner discover what feels good in different states of arousal. And it trains your body to associate sex with presence and connection rather than urgency and performance.

Bringing It All Together

Sexual stamina is a practice, not a fixed trait. Like any skill, it develops with awareness, patience, and repetition. These three techniques – conscious breathing, sounding, and conscious pacing – work together to help you regulate arousal, stay embodied, and extend pleasure.

Start by practicing each technique individually, both during self-pleasure and with a partner. As they become more familiar, you'll find yourself naturally integrating them. You'll develop a felt sense of your arousal patterns and learn to recognise your point of no return earlier, giving you more choice in how you move through sexual experience.

Remember, lasting longer isn't about control or suppressing sensation – it's about developing the capacity to stay present and grounded with intense pleasure. That's the foundation of true sexual mastery.

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Ready to Go Deeper?

If you're serious about developing true sexual mastery – not just lasting longer, but unlocking the full power of your sexual energy – I invite you to explore IGNITE: Sexual Mastery for Men.

This 6-week immersive program combines hands-on Tantric bodywork, one-on-one coaching, and daily practices rooted in Taoist and Tantric traditions. You'll learn to master ejaculation control, experience full-body orgasms, and channel your sexual energy into clarity, creativity, and purpose.

Learn more about IGNITE →

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